The mildly attractive woman is missing from the picture because she aint even MILDLY attractive anymore. Thank you very much to - five children, gravity, three c-sections, donuts, demanding toddlers, clingy pre-schoolers, smartass teenagers, stress, wear and tear, the Y2K bug, that one disastrous experiment with chemical hair straightener, the greenhouse effect, global warming, more donuts, sleepless nites, exercise procrastination, inflation, acid rain, the cancellation of Brothers and Sisters, an excessive amount of baking, abs that seem to have lost their elastic, deforestation, pollution and soil erosion in the Kalahari Desert. This list does not even begin to fully encompass the causes of the mildly attractive woman's decay and decomposition. Needless to say, there is incredible injustice at work here. Why is the Hot Man so 'well-preserved'?
He's too hot-skinned to be a vampire. Maybe he secretly belongs to the Wolf pack?
Either way, I hate him. It's just not fair.