I am not an economist. Or an accountant. Which is why I am very excited to tell you that I know why the world economy collapsed. I know why there’s a recession. I know why so many international banks fell to bits. Its all clear to me now...
The world’s financial status is going to shit because today I bought an iPad. A Kindle e-reader. And new earphones for my iPod. Without paying a single cent.
You got it. No money, no debit card, nothing. I didn’t have to chop my arm off. Give them the keys to my car. Or flash them with my brilliant ass-ets smile. All I had to do was show some identification. Tell them how much the Hot Man earns. Sign a form. And that was it. No deposit, no evidence, no references, no nothing. I went in the store to buy new earphones for my lousy iPod and walked out of there with electronic gadgets galore. I'm still in shock. Those people didn't know me from a basket of coconuts. How in heck could they know if I was telling big fat lies? I could have told them the Hot Man brought in a rollicking six figures every week, drove it home in a silver Mustang, showering me with diamond-laden love - and they would have believed me. I could have been a smooth talking con artiste, a dole bludging beauty, a Mongrel Mobster specializing in credit-acquired iPads - and they wouldnt have cared. All they wanted was the sale. The slim possibility that maybe, just maybe - I would be able ( and willing) to pay them twenty dollars a week for the next two years.
I have never bought anything on credit before. (Except for a piece of land and that required selling and signing my soul away in blood.) And I most certainly have never met salesmen so eager for me to take their products without handing over any money. "Are you sure you don't want a flat screen TV with that iPad? How about a new surround sound stereo system? Why not? You havent maxed your credit allowance yet!" The salesman was like an octopus with tentacles of persuasiveness and I had to battle to get out of there with JUST the iPad (for the Hot Man) and the Kindle ( for me.)
The whole experience was rather troubling. Sellers are that desperate to sell. Buyers are that easily enticed to buy. Its no wonder people are up to their ears in debt. And businesses are going bust everywhere.This no interest, no deposit purchase thing needs to be stopped. This is dire, dreadful, doomsday stuff. Luring people to buy stuff they cant afford. Like Satan promising us eternal youth in exchange for that very minor, small thing called YOUR SOUL. This is bad. Very bad. I'm pondering on these financial dangers of our times...
...as I read a book on my shiny new Kindle. Look! Its got this stunning leather case it fits in - see? And did you know that I can go anywhere in the world and meander through the Amazon bookstore online? And then buy a book with a tap of my fingers? Let me show you, come on, I'll race you up the street...stand here by this lamp post, you dont even have to point it at the stars! Click and LOOK there it is! I just bought an e-book. Up there floating around in space somewhere is a Kindle book satellite spaceship thingy. And it can beam me down books in a swamp. On a beach. Dying of thirst in a desert - but you can still buy an e-book. This is a miraculous gadget! I am in love already. Love it, love it, love it.
Even though I haven't paid a cent for it.
(And ohmigosh, that salesman said I hadn't maxed my credit allowance yet. I wonder if i can sneak away to the mall tomorrow without the Hot Man noticing? I hear the spring fashion collections calling my name...)
I have never bought anything on credit before. (Except for a piece of land and that required selling and signing my soul away in blood.) And I most certainly have never met salesmen so eager for me to take their products without handing over any money. "Are you sure you don't want a flat screen TV with that iPad? How about a new surround sound stereo system? Why not? You havent maxed your credit allowance yet!" The salesman was like an octopus with tentacles of persuasiveness and I had to battle to get out of there with JUST the iPad (for the Hot Man) and the Kindle ( for me.)
The whole experience was rather troubling. Sellers are that desperate to sell. Buyers are that easily enticed to buy. Its no wonder people are up to their ears in debt. And businesses are going bust everywhere.This no interest, no deposit purchase thing needs to be stopped. This is dire, dreadful, doomsday stuff. Luring people to buy stuff they cant afford. Like Satan promising us eternal youth in exchange for that very minor, small thing called YOUR SOUL. This is bad. Very bad. I'm pondering on these financial dangers of our times...
...as I read a book on my shiny new Kindle. Look! Its got this stunning leather case it fits in - see? And did you know that I can go anywhere in the world and meander through the Amazon bookstore online? And then buy a book with a tap of my fingers? Let me show you, come on, I'll race you up the street...stand here by this lamp post, you dont even have to point it at the stars! Click and LOOK there it is! I just bought an e-book. Up there floating around in space somewhere is a Kindle book satellite spaceship thingy. And it can beam me down books in a swamp. On a beach. Dying of thirst in a desert - but you can still buy an e-book. This is a miraculous gadget! I am in love already. Love it, love it, love it.
Even though I haven't paid a cent for it.
(And ohmigosh, that salesman said I hadn't maxed my credit allowance yet. I wonder if i can sneak away to the mall tomorrow without the Hot Man noticing? I hear the spring fashion collections calling my name...)